DementedBlogger

The IRS tried to contact me, by e-mail no less… I simply could not pass up the opportunity to respond.

Now that several hundred filthy rich Nigerian relatives have passed from this world, and left their long lost cousin from the era of neanderthal a huge fortune, and the United Nations has stepped in and dropped me a line to kindly let me know that this is as real as it gets… Why even the FBI has sent a Internet note to back it all up and ease my mind, telling me that this cannot possibly be a scam!

The IRS in their wisdom is trying to add to my fortune… evidently they missed those millions of dollars careening in from all of those relatives just dying to leave me a heritage that will support me long after Social Security ceases to function!

To receive this windfall, all I have to do is submit my refund payment… that’s right, submit it. I can download the pertinent form right from my e-mail, a mere 213KB file, and submit it right away so they can send me my $733.50, I bet if I download it I will get a few bonuses too! I would bet that there are a yacht or two and some gold bullion just lying around the IRS offices that they can send along with my check….

The e-mail did come with a stern warning, anyone providing false information would be “pursued and indicated”! I don’t know about you, but the last thing in this world that I want to have done to me is to be “indicated”.

It must have been a typo, they had to have meant the lesser penalty of “syndicated” which carries a much smaller fine and jail sentence!

Good ol’ IRS, always willing to instill fear of torture over “submitting” a refund payment.

Perhaps I should consider moving to Nigeria, obviously the tax laws are simpler and one can amass a fortune in no time, and the Government there has already been kind to me… all those nice e-mails they sent to let me know how to send my money to claim my inheritance…

Thomas H. Forthe

Trackback URI | Comments RSS