DementedBlogger

How can it be that a once lush forest of follicles on top of my head has become the desert of denial, a wasteland for hair, unable to support brush much less a forest? And yet my ears seem to have a ready supply of “miracle grow” that requires constant mowing and weed eating to gather in the crop?

Eye brows have a growth curve all their own at this age as well, with a cow lick from the nether regions bent on concealing the eyes while they are at it, having a very strange growth pattern that leads everywhere and nowhere all at the same time.

The beard gets thicker by drawing sustenance from the top of the head I swear! If I did not shave my neck occasionally It would need braiding or maybe even dreadlocks! I doubt that is a fashion statement we will see in the theaters anytime soon.

If the top of my head would only sprout hair like the rest of me, I could star in the next Wookie movie without makeup, saving makeup a bundle and getting the film out under budget!

Instead I need to purchase stock in a razor manufacturer to keep up with the tropical growth areas; if this continues I may have to look into a chainsaw….

Thomas H. Forthe

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